Rescue remedy
1st April, 2012
by Lou Weth
I’ve never been on a meet with such a load of incompetents! All I could hear was, “Nope, I can’t do it”… “Can you pull me up?”… “Ooh, I’m stuck”. I dunno; a fine weekend in Langdale (when did that last happen?)… dry rock, blue skies, not a slug in sight… and no-one got up a single climb all weekend.
We got to know the trees around the hut very well, though: tied ourselves to ‘em, climbed ‘em, threw ourselves off and dangled, entangled from ‘em, all in an attempt to emulate the complicated zigs, zags and arrows which our instructor drew on her brand-new blackboard. I have to say she seemed quite impressed with our efforts, but at one stage combined tactics were necessary to replicate the terrors of Snatch Rescue (or was it the Counter-balance Abseil?).
Despite all this there were no actual injuries, although a few people resorted to sitting on chairs rather than hanging stoically in their harnesses. It’s hard work having an epic, you know, though you’d look rather silly carrying a chair to the crag with you under normal circumstances.
I, for my part, successfully escaped the tangle of Hitches and Knots (French, Italian and others that sounded more akin to a Harry Potter spell) and left my abandoned partner dangling while I went back to the hut for a well-earned cuppa. I use the word ‘dangling’ rather loosely, as she was in reality laid out horizontally on the lawn sunning herself.
Eventually – oh my- we progressed to real rock and amused passers-by with our antics at the foot of Raven Crag. The by now familiar whines of incompetent seconds resumed … though we were careful to have our epics close to the ground just in case gravity proved more than our newly acquired skills could cope with. We tied-off, lowered, hauled, heaved and grunted, our hapless partners gaining height inch by inch, assisted by our impeccably set-up hoists. I may not have been the only one, though, thinking we would have been better off learning “Wingardium leviosa”1.
1 Spell for levitating objects
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A Quality Mountain Day
10th March, 2012
by Deidre O’Caunagh
Rock-climbing, mountain biking, winter skills, Munro and Corbett bagging (oh, and of course, the Inshriach teashop) surely all highlights of the meet had been enjoyed… but no… the action aint over until the welding goggles have come out!
A return to colder temperatures with some fresh snow on the tops meant that a winter route could be the menu du jour for the last day of the meet and a large jolly party took to the Fiacaill ridge, an easy Cairngorm classic and superbly positioned line between the Sneachda and Lochain corries. The further you stay on the left side of the ridge the better the sense of exposure as you peer down the length of the Fiacaill Buttress. We decided the granite ridge was rather like stacking up lots of sections of gritstone edge one of top of the other, all balanced precariously on top of a very big mountain.
Good progress was made until a temporary halt in the proceedings was caused when we caught up with two slow-moving roped parties. But not wanting to miss the crux of the route (all difficulties can actually be avoided) we opted to wait…
So the Meet Cake was enjoyed with typical Pinnacle Club style and banter. It was generally agreed by all that the dense texture of the carbohydrate laden Genoa cake had extremely good properties in terms of withstanding the rigours of a route in a rucsac. In the meantime, the poor woman ahead of us being dragged up the route slithered and flailed and generally made a meal of the short pitch. However, not to be outdone we also managed to employ a variety of tactics – crampons off for all, but some ascending with axes and some without; some with a rope and some without; all enjoying the technical challenge of the snowed up rock in such a fabulous position. Then a quick romp up the final easy slopes saw us up onto the Cairngorm plateau.

Stunning views over the sub-arctic landscape were our reward and we decided Scotland is undoubtedly the best place in the world. An easy descent down Coire Cas was enlivened by the sprint finish of one member heading for the loos, Dachsteins flapping. Her face was a picture when we caught up with her at the bottom where sadly she had found them shut!
Thanks to all who made the meet such fun; I can confidently say we had a long weekend to remember.
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The Pinnacle Club reaches parts of Stoney that other climbers don’t reach
10th February, 2012
by HJ
This was a meet for those not foolhardy enough to be playing outside in -12o. Our meet leader had devised a Plan, which started on Windy Ledge at Stoney Middleton, left the Ledge through a 25m tunnel crawl, then returned via the V Diff traverse of Tiger Trot back onto the Ledge. I’d signed up for this, naively assuming the reference to a ‘tunnel crawl’ in the meet blurb was an over-elaborate attempt to ‘big-up’ some unassuming mod traverse. It quickly became clear that ‘tunnel crawl’ = ‘crawl through a tunnel’ – i.e. the sort of thing cavers do. (It’s called Bossen Hole in case you need to avoid it in the future).
In the 80s, whenever I climbed at Stoney, I would spot sorry-looking muddy orange overalled types crawling out of the undergrowth and feel sorry for them. Now I know what they were doing and realise my pity was misplaced – they brought their misery on themselves.
On the plus side, the tunnel was dry and out of the wind. On the downside, it forced you onto hands and knees, getting narrower…can’t turn round width … breathe … can’t see round the corner… how much narrower … breathe… breathe. By now I was at risk of hyperventilating so I insisted that H. in front of me kept talking (I needed on-going evidence that she was not stuck or suffocating which would have meant crawling backwards … breathe….).

Having survived that, I noticed that everyone else, as they emerged triumphant into daylight, had a beaming expression of relief on their face. As a reward, next came our very own via ferrata, which our meet leader had set up in advance for our delight and delectation. Now this was more like it! Heart rate back to normal, we set off on a wonderfully high traverse, with juggy, pockety holds and positive footholds, although a bit skiddy in big boots. With12 of us, progress was slow enough to allow time to enjoy the view across the valley of the snowy fields and roof tops.
Back down, a spot of lunch at some Roman/ Mediaeval baths, then a walk to Eyam the plague village, visiting the church and other significant landmarks, and back to the Moon at Stoney for beer and chips. Perfect.







